As a caveat, this post obviously doesn’t apply to every Messianic Jew who observes aspects of the Torah, but it may apply to some. It is based on some of my experiences as a two-parent Messianic Jew, and other two-parent Messianic Jews I know. This is a very anecdotal post, and I haven’t done any academic research, but hopefully it will resonate.
Now there is an observable difference between Messianic Jews and most people in the Jewish community. In the wider Jewish community, people are born into it, socialise within it, have Jewish family events and Shabbat every week, go to brisses, bar mitzvahs and Jewish weddings, and go to shul and participate in communal spiritual life. Basically, (and it sounds redundant but I’ll say it anyway), Jews can be Jewish.
The Messianic community however is rejected by the Jewish community, because of our faith in Jesus, which for most Jews puts us beyond the pale, so to speak. We’re part of a community that wants to be part of another community – namely the mainstream Jewish one. So in order to fit in, we adapt our theology to try to harmonise our faith with the practices of Judaism, to the greatest extent possible.